I have not been able to get as far into my new book as I would have liked it seems as life as a mommy is taking priority (darn kids). I got to watch a little girl eat her buggers in ballet today and then hold on to another girl hand. I know kids do kid things and that picking your nose as a child is almost a given but come on people when you watch your child do it step in and wash their hand don’t just smile at me like it is a cute thing. I also got to watch a grown woman who was having a bad day yell at a child who accidently walked into her. I guess some people don’t have the ability to be kind to children when they are having a bad day. Anyway after a day of running around and missing out on reading my book I am finally finished with my errands and plan on spending the next few hours indulging in the story of the green man. I hope you all had a wonderful hump day… I am off

My sister finished her book and I finally get to read it. I am so excited because I have been waiting to read this book for two years. I am so looking forward to going to bed tonight and curling up with my many pages of printed paper and falling deep into the words of her story. I am already excited to discover the history of the green guy

We are finally getting to enjoy the sun in WA and if you are from here you understand how wonderful that is. I think we hit in the mid to high 60s today and for me it felt like heaven. I was still wearing jeans but I was able to put on sunglasses a t-shirt and sandles. My husband had the idea to wash the cars so we soaked up the sun while getting our incredibley dirty cars a much needed bath. My daughter spent her afternoon playing in her water table while my middle son acted out some scenario in his creative head. The oldest disappered to hang out with some friends as teenagers tend to do. I love that its sunny outside because mexicans are just not built to live in cold wet climates. I hope the sun decides to stay and visit us for a while but if not I will enjoy the days that its here. I hope you all were able to have a good Sunday..

So its has been ages since I have gotten on here and blogged about anything… Not that really I have a super exciting life to blog about. My life is a cycle of waking up, sending the kids off to school and spending the day running errands, cleaning, and hanging out with my daughter. I would like to say that since the last time I posted alot has gone on but really you did not miss anything. Well actually I guess there were a few things so I will just list them and move on.
Had surgery
Mom visited
Sister visited
BIL had birthday
I had a birthday
bought new mac computers
gave husband unbirthday gift
spring showed up finally
moved furniture in house around
correction mom moved furniture in my house around
planning a trip to Disney World
husband came home
step mom went a little overboard

and that is all folks like I said not to exciting. I keep saying how I am not going to let months pass before I blog again so this time I am just going to say I won’t let years pass. That way if I blog in the next six months I won’t feel so bad.
Anyway that is all I have to share at the moment I have housework that is calling my name so I must run. Enjoy your weekends

I have to rant for a moment just to get some of my frustration out. I am not intending on making any sense or trying to sound fluent with my words just trying to get some crazy out so that my brain can digest some of the crap that it is in there. Seven years ago when I decided to get into a relationship that had baggage I thought that I could make a difference. I thought when my husband and I got married that I would be able to act as a support between two people who could not stand each other. I thought that by putting myself out there I would be helping out with my oldest son. No he is not my son by birth by he is my son by life. I am the one that takes care of him when he is sad, sick, lonely, or depressed. I share in his moments of joy, his sports, and even tease him just to get him to smile. I fight with him about his attitude and grades and reward him when he does something above and beyond. I may not have pushed him out of my body but I do everything else. Right now I am at a crossroads in my marriage because we have gotten to a point that both my husband and his ex wife think that my soul job is to be a taxi service when they need me to be. They don’t ask me if I can do it they just assume that I won’t say no and up until this point that is what has happend. Well I am done I have gotten to my breaking point because today was my daughters 4th birthday and instead of going out to dinner and celebrating we sat in an airport waiting for my oldest to return from his birth mothers home. On Thursday instead of my kids getting to bed at a decent hour we got home around midnight after waiting for my oldest to get on a plane to go out to his mothers. Then today I get a text from her telling me that I will do this again next month. No one stops to ask me if its okay no one worries that there are two other kids in this house that have to take second chair because of the arrangements being made. No one seems to care except me and nwo I am just pissed off and over the sensitive about it all. My kids had to spend halloween, thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthdays without their father because he is deployed and now they don’t even get to celebrate their birthdays on their actually dates because we apparently don’t matter as much as the ex wife does. I am not going to do this anymore because this can only end one way if we keep heading down this road and that one way is to a divorce of our own. I will not let another one of my children miss their special day or anything that is important to them because my husband does not want to handle things and his ex wife doesn’t want to rent a car to come and get our son. I have to fix this and quick because I don’t want it to cost me the family that I have. UUUUUUUGGGGGGGG I am so frustrated but at least now the thoughts are out of my head and maybe now I can get some sleep and wake up with a fresh outlook on it all……. At least this day is over and tomorrow looks promising and better.

So the trip out here was pretty uneventful but it felt like a million things were going on. The day before I left my girlfriend and I decided to take our kids sledding in her back yard because of all the wonderful snow we had gotten. Her youngest child was not able to join in due to being very sick so we took the girls out to the back yard and proceeded to push them down the hill on the sleds. It was so much fun watching how excited they got while flying down the snow with the wind blowing in their faces. At one point they both decided it would be better if when they got to the bottom of the hill they threw their bodies off the sleds and into the snow. The dramatics that were involved were hilarious because you would have thought they had been going 90mph and came to a dead stop. Once the girls were done with their outside play my girlfriend and I proceeded to sled down the hill in as many ways as we could think of. At one point we both tried standing up on the sled and neither of us was successful. Once we finished acting like children I headed out to run some errands and then go home to pack because I had not done anything in preparation for my trip. By the time I got home I got into super mom gear and the kids and I started getting everything together that we needed on the trip. I had previously made plans with my girlfriend to go sledding that night on the big hill with some other friends so I did not get as much done as I wanted. I headed out of the house about 8:00 with her and we headed over to the hill. At the bottom of the hill someone had built a jump so all of the adults tried to go over it with our variety of sledding devices. I decided to not be chicken and go over the jump on a circular tube and everything was going great until I hit the jump and while in the air I relized there was nothing to hang on to the tube with so as I came down toward the ground it was no longer under me. I ate ice and snow and ended up with some in my clothes. I decided at that point I probably should not do that again so instead I took pictures of the other girls trying it. It was funny watching them shoot into the air and land on what felt like was solid concrete. Most of them ate it at one point or another and I am pretty sure all of them would feel it the next day. Once everyone left but my friend and I we decided to try the little jump. I waited to do it until I saw her successfully nail it five or six times just to get myself ready. I was pretty sure this time I would be okay but no that was not the case this time I landed on my side with an arm underneath me and I decided then and there I was just not made for jumps. We went down a couple more times and then headed to my house to play some Halo and rest our butts. As we sat there on my couches in pain I was surrounded by all of the things I needed to pack so around 3am she left and I decided to try and get some sleep so that I could just get everything done the following morning instead of pulling an all nighter. I woke up around 7am and proceeded to fall asleep in the hallway surrounded by clothes next to the heater. By the time I awoke from my really uncomfortable nap it was 8:20 and I was then rushed. I finished all the packing got the kids showered the kitchen was cleaned and the house was all picked up and then I decided to take a shower to get ready for my trip only to find there was no hot water. Now I know some people have the ability to take a cold shower when they have to but not me unless its hot or at least warm I am not getting in there. I decided to let the hot water come back and went on with things I needed to get done. When I was able to I finally jumped in the shower and started to wash my hair when the water went to ice cold…as loud as I could I yelled at the kids to come run to the bathroom and my oldest son showed up outside the door and in my nicest voice possible at that point I yelled “STOP USING THE HOT WATER” and he says to me “were not mom” “ARE YOU WASHING YOUR LUNCH DISHES IN HOT WATER” “Oh yes sorry mom”. My hot water was returned and as fast as I could I washed up and got out. At this point we are running 30 minutes late so now I am really stressed out and hungry. We throw everything in the car make sure all bodies are accounted for and drive to my friends house so she can take us to the airport. She has me drive us there because I speed and she does not and everything is going good until I almost pass a cop going 15 over the speed limit but he left the interstate shortly after and I speed back up again and then there was another cop and I am thinking damn don’t ya’ll have a lunch break soon I am in a hurry. We finally make it to the airport only to be stuck in traffic to get to the drop off point. When I say traffic at the airport I am not kidding it was dead stop and we were only about 1 minute away from the drop off zone. We watched people get out of their cars with their luggage and walk to the loading zone so my friend looks at me and says maybe you should do that… then I get an image in my head of me three kids five suitcases, four carry-ons, purse, camera, stroller, and car seat walking in the snow to get to the airport and I look at her and decline her kind offer. We finally get to the gate and unload and proceed to run full speed (which with a three year old and adhd kid is not very fast) to our plane only to find out that its not even there yet, our flight has been delayed for an hour. I could have finished my hair if I had known that.The kids and I decide to find something to eat so we run to the BK in the airport and as we start back to our plane we see that they are boarding and are almost done so again we are moving with a quickness because at this point I am not missing out plane. I look outside and see that its snowing like crazy and know that if we miss this flight we are not getting on another that day. We make it and have a nice uneventful flight until I hear my son tell his brother “we should bomb China and then all the stuff that is made there can be made in America” I turn around and ask what they are discussing and then inform them they are no longer aloud to talk. Meanwhile Monkey starts to say “we are going down” because the plane is decending for landing so I have to quickly hush her up too. We get off the plane and meet my FIL and then head out to the house. I am glad to be here finally and after I said I was sorry to the kids for turning into crazy mom I became normal again and am enjoying the time I have with family. I have relized that its not a good idea to go sledding and play halo the night before you have to fly especially when you have not packed a thing so if anyone out there has that plan I would come up with a new idea.

Today was wonderful with the kids. When Monkey and I woke up the boys had already left for school. We spent the day finishing up laundry and just hanging out together. Once school was over I picked up D and we headed out to get coffee and find a cd I want for my mother. As we were driving around town the snow started to come down again. There is nothing more beautiful than watching all the dead plants and sad houses be covered in this perfect white sheet of fluffy snow. It makes everything look so clean and fresh and peaceful. I found myself driving down the streets not worried about how the roads were getting but instead smiling from ear to ear because of how happy the snow made me. I could not wait to get home wtih the kids and start playing outside. After we hit a couple of stores I relized the roads were getting worse so I decided to cancel our shopping trip and just head home. I had the kids invite over a few friends and we all went outside to build a massive fort. It turned out great I am so proud. After about an hour or two of our playtime we got a phone call telling us that school was cancelled for tomorrow so we ended up staying outside past ten oclock just playing. I cannot wait to get up in the morning and enjoy some more kid time. I have to pack all of our suit cases for our trip and do a bunch of little stuff around the house but I figure we only live once and it never snows here so I will just seize the day and take a day off and have fun.

First kiss, passion, innocent, trust, betrayal, hurt, youth, now we are grown and I am glad you are happy I will always remember sunflowers and kitchen counter tops.

So all week we have been lucky enough to see a wonderful winter wonderland outside our door because mother nature has seen fit to bless us with snow. I am not a fan of cold but there is something magical about sparkling flakes floating in the air during the holiday season. Making snow angels with my daughter awakens a inner child that wants to build snow forts and have a snow ball fight. We have had two hour delays all week for the kids except on Wednesday they were out of school all day. AAHHH and the tv just informed that again a two hour delay. I am enjoying the snow but we fly out on Saturday afternoon to go spend the holidays with family and I really need it to be nice enough to drive to the airport. I don’t mind the snow coming back after my plane takes off but I really am keeping my fingers crossed that we don’t have delays. So pray that we have an on time flight. Well I have to go change alarms for the kids so they can sleep in and if today you have a chance to play in the snow I suggest laying down on the ground and making a snow angel as you look up into the sky and enjoy the beauty of the day.

I have not taken the family to do a family photo in over three years so this year I thought why not… The last time we were in a photo dressed up together my daughter was under a year old and now she is getting ready to turn four. On Monday I dressed both in red button up shirts with tie and black pants, while my daughter wore a black and white dress and I had on a black and red dress. After waiting for an hour to be seen we finally were taken back to do our pictures. I was not thrilled with the service but I did see a few shots that I was excited about. Once we finished getting up and down, moving here and there we waited again for another hour to start going through the photos and pick our favorites. I finally asked the ladies if I could just come back the following day to go through the photos because it was already 8:30 at night and the kids and I were starving. We headed out afterwards to Olive Garden and had a wonderful meal. Today I headed back up to the photo shop and waited for another 30 minutes to be sat down in front of a computer only to spend the next hour and a half staring at the same photos over and over again. As I looked at the photos I noticed that in over half of the pictures my bra or boob was sticking out for all to see. I was disappointed and asked the lady if my children and I could come back and showed her my reason. She apologized and said pick out the ones you like of what we have and then we can schedule a re shoot as well. I sat for another 30 minutes and then finally asked if I could come back again and go through the photo’s once I had my new photos and she said fine. So Thursday the kids and I will put back on our clothes and set out to take the photo’s again. Lets hope the third time is a charm and that no boobs end up on film.