I have to rant for a moment just to get some of my frustration out. I am not intending on making any sense or trying to sound fluent with my words just trying to get some crazy out so that my brain can digest some of the crap that it is in there. Seven years ago when I decided to get into a relationship that had baggage I thought that I could make a difference. I thought when my husband and I got married that I would be able to act as a support between two people who could not stand each other. I thought that by putting myself out there I would be helping out with my oldest son. No he is not my son by birth by he is my son by life. I am the one that takes care of him when he is sad, sick, lonely, or depressed. I share in his moments of joy, his sports, and even tease him just to get him to smile. I fight with him about his attitude and grades and reward him when he does something above and beyond. I may not have pushed him out of my body but I do everything else. Right now I am at a crossroads in my marriage because we have gotten to a point that both my husband and his ex wife think that my soul job is to be a taxi service when they need me to be. They don’t ask me if I can do it they just assume that I won’t say no and up until this point that is what has happend. Well I am done I have gotten to my breaking point because today was my daughters 4th birthday and instead of going out to dinner and celebrating we sat in an airport waiting for my oldest to return from his birth mothers home. On Thursday instead of my kids getting to bed at a decent hour we got home around midnight after waiting for my oldest to get on a plane to go out to his mothers. Then today I get a text from her telling me that I will do this again next month. No one stops to ask me if its okay no one worries that there are two other kids in this house that have to take second chair because of the arrangements being made. No one seems to care except me and nwo I am just pissed off and over the sensitive about it all. My kids had to spend halloween, thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthdays without their father because he is deployed and now they don’t even get to celebrate their birthdays on their actually dates because we apparently don’t matter as much as the ex wife does. I am not going to do this anymore because this can only end one way if we keep heading down this road and that one way is to a divorce of our own. I will not let another one of my children miss their special day or anything that is important to them because my husband does not want to handle things and his ex wife doesn’t want to rent a car to come and get our son. I have to fix this and quick because I don’t want it to cost me the family that I have. UUUUUUUGGGGGGGG I am so frustrated but at least now the thoughts are out of my head and maybe now I can get some sleep and wake up with a fresh outlook on it all……. At least this day is over and tomorrow looks promising and better.